The Reason Why
by mannd1068
Summary: Some of the choices made by char in HP might seem a little odd, this series of one-shots will give the reason why. Ch4 - Trelawney's desparation for a job leads to something she never thought would happen.
1. Peter Petigrew His reason

The Reason Why

By Mannd

This is AU after the fall of Voldemort; I couldn't stand the idea of Remus being dead... I do not own Harry Potter, just the idea.

Remus Lupin looked down from watching his giggling son and Harry to the letter he had received by Owl Post this morning. He recognized the handwriting, and wondered if he should just destroy the letter. The note was from Peter 'The Betrayer' Pettigrew. With a sigh, Remus ran his finger under the edge and broke the seal on the note and paused again. "Daddy, Daddy! look at me!" his little boy squealed with glee as Harry twirled him in a large arch, "look at me!" the boy squealed again, and Remus laughed.

A breeze rustled the paper in his hand, a silent entreat for it not to be ignored and with another heavy sigh, Remus opened the note and began reading:

Remus

I wish I could call you my dear friend, but I know what you think of me, so I won't. I wanted to tell you a reason why I joined the Dark Lord. I did join willingly; there was very little pressure or 'courting' from the Death Eaters for me. Does that shock you? It shouldn't, after all I joined the Marauder's the same way.

Anyway, the reason why, do you remember asking me why I looked so tired and sad on the train going to Hogwarts our last year? Do you remember my answer? Probably not, none of you actually listened to me anyhow. I had been to a funeral four days earlier, the funeral was for my little sister, she would have been a second year Slytherin. Does that surprise you? You see, when I was one my father died in accident and my mother remarried and had Dorcus. She was the perfect little sister, always following me everywhere, getting into my things, and she idolized me. Yes, ME! Little Peter Pettigrew, the shy quiet boy was her favorite person in the whole world, and to me, she was my world.

Every two weeks, I would send her letters, filling her head with wonderful tales of Hogwarts, classes, the pranks we pulled, and most importantly, friends. She was so excited when she got on the Express and the first thing that happened to her was her hair was turned blue. The shock and hurt in her eyes when she looked at me nearly made me vomit. Then she was sorted into Slytherin, and suddenly she became enemy number one to James and Sirius.

The pranks were constant, and at the funeral, one of her roommates told me that she would have panic attacks in the morning because she was so terrified to leave the Slytherin Dorm. There is a fine line between pranking and bullying, and we crossed that line, too many times. Didn't you notice me starting to pull away that year? Why did I have to be the voice of reason, you were the Prefect! You were supposed to keep them in line. Did none of you notice my forced laughter as you hurt people time and time again with your 'jokes'?

It took my sister nearly a month to be weaned off of the calming potions that Slughorn had started dosing her with, and slowly but surely my little sister came back. I hid her second year Hogwarts letter from her and secretly went out and purchased her books. If she could make it through one more year, than she would be okay. But one morning she snuck into my room to tickle me awake (something she use to do when she was younger), but I wasn't tickled awake! No, she was standing next to my bed screaming, her eyes were staring straight at her Hogwarts' second year books! She was hysterical and it took a light stunning spell from my step-father to calm her down. She wouldn't let me any where near her as she held onto my mother when she woke up and she shook and shook, clutching at her robes as if they were her lifeline. Her eyes were so wild. It took a large dose of calming potion before she would let go, but she walked around in a daze.

A week before we were to return from Hogwarts, I found her. She snuck into the kitchen and slit her wrists. She was twelve years old, Remus! Twelve and she was so terrified of US, of ME, that she SLIT HER WRISTS!!! ARE YOU GETTING THIS REMUS? I never knew how badly she was affected by all of the 'jokes' until her roommates came to the funeral and started talking. I was horrified! My own little sister, the blue eye urchin who idolized me had become terrified of me, ME!

When did we go from being role models of bravery and integrity to being things that go bump in the night and terrify young children giving them nightmares? Regulus came up to me that day and sat with me as I wept. He didn't say anything; he didn't need to for there was nothing he could say that could help. You didn't know about the funeral because I DIDN'T WANT YOU THERE. James and Sirius couldn't have been comforting, nor would they have been welcomed.

It was during the funeral among the other Slytherins, that I heard small whisperings of the Death Eaters. Regulus and Severus were trying to decided whether or not to join; they wanted to wait for one more year before making the decision, but on the train… James and Sirius being the arses that they were pushed the three of us, yes us, Regulus, Severus and I, right into their gentle but eager hands. And just like with James and Sirius, the Dark Lord at first was gentle and kind, wooing us, converting us, and entrenching us so deep that there was no way out.

And we did try to back out, all three of us, when we found out what the Dark Lord was really like. Regulus was horrified when he heard that the Dark Lord had made horcruxes, Severus when he learned that his beloved Lily was a target, and me. I had gone from one group of bullies to another, but these guys didn't do things for laughs, they did things to hurt and kill.

Regulus disappeared, now I know why, but at the time… and than Severus heard The Prophesy, and I learned that Lily was pregnant. Severus loved Lily, and I always had had a small crush on her, we didn't want her dead. The two of us tried to come up with a way to keep them safe and we choose one of us going to Dumbledore and becoming a 'known' spy and the other being the 'unknown' spy. Severus 'won' the coin toss, and I watched in my rat form as he came clean with the headmaster.

Can I be honest here? Sure I can, you have already condemned me, I was thrilled when James and Sirius suggested me as their secret keeper. Do you know why? It wasn't to hurt Lily or even hurt Harry, but to play the biggest prank on the two biggest pranksters. After all how many times during school did they do the big switcheroo on people? So James and Sirius were to be humiliated beyond their wildest dreams, and Severus and I were to whisk Lily and Harry away to safety and be the heroes for once. The Dark Lord, however, attacked a day earlier than we had originally planned, and our prank backfired, horribly.

So now you know the reason I joined. I am not asking for forgiveness, nor am I asking you to understand, the reason why I am sending this is for one thing… can you please visit my little sister's gravestone and tell her I am sorry and I love her? Her favorite flowers were daisies.

Wormtail

Remus put the letter down and sighed, "Remus?" He looked up into Harry's green eyes, and handed Harry the letter and got up and walked into the house. Harry stared at the letter in his hand, swallowing hard as he read it. He looked up at a noise and saw Remus had come back out and was gathering a small bunch of daisies and with a nod to Harry, he apparated away.

AN: I always wondered what would make Pettigrew turn away from his friends and become a Death eater. Sure there are probably lots of reasons why out there, protection, going from one group of 'friends' to the next, his family pressured him, but I wondered what would really make him turn and want to kill his best friends. But what if his best friends were the Bullies and he thought that he was getting away from them and ended up in a larger group? And what if his best friends were the final push that put Peter over the edge? To me there is a very very fine line between pranks and bullying. If a prank has been played on you, and you don't laugh, you can't take a joke. Why should I laugh at something that humiliates me or my friends?

Comments and Criticisms Welcome.


	2. Draco Malfoy Not my War

Chapter Two – Not My War

My thinking as to why Draco actually joined Voldemort. I don't think that Voldemort would have really used Draco, (too young, too much of a bragger, or whatever), but I think that in order to save his mother's life (and possibly his father's) he joined agreeing to kill Dumbledore. I think in the book, if the deatheaters had waited another 30 seconds, Draco would have completely lowered his wand and surrendered.

Like always, I don't own Harry Potter, nor Draco Malfoy.

Three days after the final battle, Draco Malfoy was eating a lonely breakfast in the Great Hall. His parents had been taken into the ministry to answer questions as to their actions. Draco thought that his father would end up back in Azkaban for a few more years. He shouldn't have been so surprised when his mother had actually pleaded for him to remain behind at Hogwarts until his house was made into a home again. Reluctantly, the Aurors agreed.

A shadow fell over him, but he didn't look up. He was tired of seeing the gloating faces of his former year mates, but the shadow moved and he was surprised when the person sat down in across from him and pulled a few dishes towards him and filled up his plate. After a few minutes of eating in silence, Draco finally swallowed his pride and looked up and nearly choked in shock. Harry Potter, the savior of the world, the hero of the hour, was calmly sitting eating his breakfast. He had a small stack of parchment that he was reading through, and Draco after risking a quick glance realized that it was the paperwork to become an Auror.

Harry looked up at him, tilting his head slightly to the side, and Draco realized that he must have made some kind of noise, "'morning," he said when Draco continued to remain silent. Draco gave a small nod, and picked up his goblet of juice to hide his confusion. A few moments later, they were joined by someone else and Draco looked up again and stared at Hermione as she quickly filled her plate.

"Granger," Draco said softly in way of greeting, and Hermione looked up at him in surprise before giving him a brief smile and returning to her breakfast.

The four teens danced around each other the next few days, even Ron wasn't sure what to do with him, so he mostly ignored the Slytherin. Draco nearly swallowed his tongue when he watched a group of Aurors coming up the Hogwarts' grounds and knew that they were finally there to question him. Somehow Harry had pushed his way into the interview, and after several hours of answering questions, Harry handed him a goblet of pumpkin juice and asked him one question, "Why?"

Draco drank the juice, partly to quench his thirst, but also to gather his thoughts, "Why which?" he finally settled on.

"Why did you join him," Harry asked, and Draco heard the others quiet as they listened to his answer.

"What would you do to protect your family, Potter?" Draco said nodding at Hermione and Ron who were sitting in the back of the room.

"Anything," Harry said after glancing back at the two.

"And that is what I did," Draco said, "I might have talked a lot of ideals, but in the end I joined to protect my family."

"So you didn't join because of blood purity and all that droll?" Harry asked, sitting down rather hard, completely stunned.

"Potter," Draco said sighing softly, wearily, "it wasn't my war."

Comments and Criticism Welcome

I plan on doing Fleur next, any suggests please send.


	3. Bellatrix LaStrange Baby Talk

Baby Talk

Mannd

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I do not own Harry Potter.

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!!Warning this has violence and death as well as miscarriages in it. You have been warned!!

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"Is widdle bawby scareded?" Bellatrix asked crooning as she gently touched the six year old girl's tear stained face in front of her. The child shivered slightly at the touch, trying to shy away from the crazy woman who had already murdered her family. The child whimpered as the woman's eyes grew far away, and bit back a scream as she was picked up and cradled like an infant.

"Hush, now, hush," Bellatrix crooned softly her voice slipping into a lullaby, "sigh, now, sigh," the child lay frozen in her arms terrified as the woman ran a soothing hand through her sweaty locks, "mother's here now, don't you cry." The child began crying softly as she stared into the dead eyes of her mother a few feet away, "Sleep, now, sleep, dream, now, dream, I will shelter you, by and by," Bellatrix crooned and felt a large hand on her shoulder. She looked into the pain filled eyes of her husband, "she's asleep," she said showing him the sobbing child in her arms, "just like our little Sophia," she crooned again and Rodolphus gently took the child from her. A green light and the girl was laid beside her mother, tears still streaming from the now fixed eyes.

Rodolphus gently helped his wife to stand, knowing that a visit to a small graveyard was in order before their return to Malfoy Manor and their Lord, Rabastan nodded to his brother as he apparated away to announce their success of the raid to the Dark Lord. Rodolphus pulled his now weeping wife in his arms and after casting the dark mark over the destroyed house, apparated to a small-secluded cemetery. Bellatrix nearly collapsed in his arms as he led her through to the small area in the back, a black marble angel stood over four tiny markers, the only thing left of their children.

~*~

They had married right out of Hogwarts and Bellatrix had become immediately pregnant, their excitement palatable as they would be the first of the three Black sisters to have a child. For six months, Bellatrix waited with excited anticipation, each movement felt and loved, clothes purchased, then one night, nothing, no movement, no fluttering, just illness until finally the miscarriage, and a small perfectly formed boy had been born, perfect in every way except the one that mattered, he was dead. Orion Regulus Lestrange was the marker on the right.

Rodolphus had wanted to wait a year before trying again but Bellatrix had been insistent, and she quickly became pregnant again. This time Bellatrix waited three months before informing anyone except Rodolphus, three months of fear and concern, but the healer assured the woman that the baby was healthy and everything was fine. The sixth month mark passed, and again Bellatrix held her breath, but everything was going smoothly until she hit the seventh month and woke in excruciating pain. She screamed when she was told that her baby was dying, but it was either the baby or Bellatrix and Rodolphus loved his wife too much to lose her.

Bellatrix held little Sophia for three hours before she would let Rodolphus take the body away, then in a fit of rage she tortured and killed the healer. Sophia's small marker was on the left.

This time Rodolphus was firm, they will wait at least a year, but it took three months before she conceived again, she had snuck a potion into his drink and before he knew it she was pregnant. The Dark Lord was in his prime of power and Bellatrix loved the high of it. Until that faithful night in July when something happened, and Bellatrix again lost her child. Rodolphus wondered if the reason she went so crazy on the Longbottoms was because their child looked so much like their son Rodrick who now lay in the middle surrounded by his older brother and sister.

Rodolphus hadn't even known she was pregnant when they were sentence to life in Azkaban, it wasn't until he listened to her insane mumblings that he realized, and eight months later on the cold stone floor, Bellatrix birthed Roselyn. He nearly wept as he listened to the soft crying of the baby; this one had been born alive! Bellatrix crooned to the child, "Hush, now hush, sigh, now sigh, mother's here now, don't you cry; sleep, now sleep, dream now dream, I will shelter you, by and by."

He had screamed himself hoarse for the warden, he didn't care who raised the child as long as it was alive, but before the warden came, he heard the small baby give one last soft sob then Bellatrix's weeping grew and he knew it was too late. The Dementors let her keep the child for a day before they took the small body away. He watched, fighting their effects as one drifted by, the small bundle in its arms, and he wept for his wife and for himself. Roselyn's marker was a small flat stone that lay in front of her siblings.

Rodolphus looked at the black stone angel who was watching over his children and wondered if she wept as well.

~*~

Comments and Criticisms welcomed!

AN1: The lullaby is my creation.

AN2: Thanks to my BETAs!


	4. Sybill Trelawney Desparation

Desperation

Mannd

I don't own Harry Potter, no really.

Sybill Trelawney filled her glass with Cooking Sherry and grimaced as she knocked the liquid back. A full body shudder racked her thin frame and she sighed as she refilled her glass and decided to nurse the second one. She stared broodingly into the fire, having removed for the night all her shawls, rings and other pieces of her costume and was now in a comfortable caftan. She scowled as she looked at her bed covered in the frills and fringe of her everyday clothing, but as her grandmother used to tell her, you must look the part to be believable.

She scowled again, that was one part of job she could have done without. She should have listened to her mother and married… what his name? She couldn't remember now and nodded as the alcohol was finally working making her forget. She filled her glass again, wondering how many she had already drunk and shrugging to herself as she pulled the stack of 'dream diaries' over to her. She looked at them and began reading through them, "typical teen dreams," she frowned feeling like a voyeur as she read through kissing teens, forgotten homework, fears of the future and wild fantasies.

She marked them with a flourish until she came to His, which she had purposely put on the bottom of the pile. She put out a trembling hand and pulled it closer to her, refilling for the unknown number of times her glass finally emptying the Sherry bottle and began to read. She sighed in relief when he didn't mention dreaming of his parents, she wasn't sure if she could deal with that. Guilt ate away at her and she marked the pages and pushed them away before staggering to her bed to fall into an uneasy sleep.

HPHPHPHP

"_I am sorry Miss Trelawney, but I believe I am going to be dropping Divination from Hogwarts curriculum," Headmaster Dumbledore said looking over his half-moon spectacles at the young eager girl. _

_Sybill was desperate, since she refused to marry Charles, her parents had kicked her out of the house and she needed a job and a place to live. Having grown up sitting at her great-great-grandmother's knees as the woman worked the Carnival Circuit she fancied herself a fortuneteller too. "Sybill, my little star," the old woman had told her, "you just don't have the Gift," Sybill had looked away hurt, knowing her grandmother was right, she didn't have the Sight, but it still fascinated her. She learned showmanship at her grandmother's knee, "not everyone needs an earth shattering prophecy, little star," her Grandmother had run her knarled fingers through her granddaughter's flyaway hair, "some just want to know about love and money, so you give them a little show."_

_Sybil had seen her grandmother give four True Prophesies, they had scared her horribly. The old woman's face would go slack and she would talk in a raspy voice that terrified the child and after the prophesy would be given she wouldn't remember anything that happen, often apologizing for falling asleep._

_What if? Everyone was desperate to get rid of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, "__The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... " Sybill fell into the pose that her grandmother had always taken when 'Seeing', her voice raspy , "Born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies ... And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not" Sybill paused, her brain racking around for something else, something vague, " ... And either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives" and now to finish with style, "... The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies…" She let her head fall back onto the chair and blinked, "oh sorry Headmaster I must have dozed off, long night. Is something wrong?"_

_Sybill had to look down to hide her grin at the dumfounded look on the man's face, the job was hers!__ "It's quite alright my dear girl," Dumbledore said recovering quickly, "we expect the staff to be on hand a week before the students, if you are in need of immediate housing we can provide that as well." _

_Sybill waited until the man left the pub before dancing around the room, she had done it and now she was hired!_

HPHPHPHP

Sybill woke with a start; she hated dreaming of that night, what she had done. Her grandmother had warned her the Gift wasn't to be used lightly as it had a way of coming true, but she had been desperate for a job and in her desperation she had caused the ruin of several lives. She got up and cracked open another bottle and not even using a glass this time drank deep to drown her guilt.

AN: I was thinking about this on my way to work, I find it interesting that Sybill chose that exact moment to have a 'Vision', so what if she made it up on the spot just to get the job? Is that why she drank so much in later years when she 'watched' her vision come true and realized what she had caused to happen? This is completely unbeta'd so the mistakes are my own. If you see any let me know!


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